LOVE

All posts tagged LOVE

“Mommy!”

Published October 20, 2012 by FancyPants

My day today in quotes.

“Mommy, I don’t care what you say, I’m not doing it.” *discussing naptime with C*

“Mommy! Lookie! I Ellery!” *Ellery drawing herself on a wipe off board*

“Mommy, I am so hungry. When is lunch?” *Caelan a half an hour after breakfast*

“Mommy! Ooopsy!” *Milk spills on couch, Ellery is the cuplrit*

“Mommy, I don’t want you to let her play on that swing ever again!” *Caelan mad because Ellery actually has fun*

“Mommy!! Wheee!!” *Ellery throwing her head back on the swings in the backyard*

“Mommy, these are the best pork chops, ever!” *Caelan enjoying the dinner I made tonight*

“Mommy, love oooo!” *Ellery giving me her bedtime kiss*

I probably heard, “mommy!” a thousand times today. And each time, as you can see from this brief sampling, it had a different connotation. Each time, it elicited a different emotion, signaled a different need, and required me to respond differently. Sometimes I just heard, “MOMMY!!!” for the hell of it. That’s how generous my kids are. Lucky me, right?! :)

This weekend, I have felt very “mommy”. I don’t always feel like a mommy. Sometimes I feel like an exasperated, annoyed, pulled in a million directions, and frustrated mother. Sometimes I feel like an over-loved and worn out mom. But this weekend, I have been mommy and it has been fun! We had a lot of fun today. Shawn mowed, so we played outside. That is always a fun time; my girls love this weather as much as I do, so we had a good time. I actually got housework done without a fight, hung some artwork in the living room, made dinner myself (a more regular thing than I ever like to admit as I do not cook), made the girls a glow stick bath, and got to draw with them before story and bed. It was a perfect day. Truly wonderful. Call the family sitcoms, we are ready for our close up today.

Not everyday is so idyllic, though. Life can always get us down. Something can always happen to put us in a bit of a funk. It doesn’t matter, though, when you’re a mommy.  In my house, mommy is normally the comfort, the safe spot, the laughter, the tickler, the nurturer, and the one who is always looked to for pretty much everything. In my house, sometimes Mommy needs a break. But I never let it get to me. Because I signed on for this mommy gig. It’s who I am now. I wear many hats throughout the week, but I’d like to think that my Mommy hat is this incredible Fascinator with feathers, and fun things coming off of it. It is truly the most important hat I wear. I will always be a wife, teacher, mentor, an advocate, an ally, friend, sister, confidant, supporter, daughter, etc. But I will only be allowed to be “Mommy” for a short time. Michelle Obama said it best when she said, “There are many facets of me, but I feel like I have a responsibility as a mother first because my children didn’t ask to be here.” And that quote means the world to me. It reminds me that no matter what else I have going on, who else is asking for my attention, who else needs me, or what other project needs tended to, I am a mother first. My children won’t always want me to be Mommy. But for as long as they do, I will be there. I will be Mommy.

And I fancy my Mommy Fascinator looks something like this. Isn’t it fab!?

What do the hats YOU wear look like?

I am definitely not having a third child…

Published July 21, 2012 by FancyPants

Today, we had our nephew with us for the late morning/early afternoon. And I didn’t mind it. His parents are good people, and he’s a good kid. We actually don’t get to see him much due to scheduling conflicts, etc, so it was nice to have him. It just was so obviously apparent that the dynamic in the house was swung ridiculously in the favor of the kids. There were three of them, and there were two of us. And that, my friends, should just not happen in these parts much.

While I respect those of you who have handfuls of children and do your thing, I do not want it for me. Oh no. I couldn’t hang. The kids were SO good and got along really well. We honestly had zero problems all day. But man, it felt like we were chasing one when we should have been chasing the other. Playing outside, we didn’t know who to look at and who to let go. It was very…new. And I don’t like new. I like old. Dependable. Two children. Two parents. That works for me. I suppose it all comes down to who can handle what. And I don’t really like disorganized chaos. And I liken having a four year old, a three year old and an 18 month old to very, very disorganized chaos. Even when they get along, there is some chaos to it. I don’t know how some of you do it. When he left, I was laying on the couch with my youngest and was falling asleep. I had had it. I was exhausted (not like I am not exhausted every other day), and I give you guys all the credit in the world. I couldn’t do it. I’d be a massive ball of dead.

I also don’t think it helped that he is ALL BOY and my girls are, well, not. He is like the run, jump, holler, truck, train, dirt, run, jump, laugh, dirt type of boy. And while I admire that in him, I am glad I do not have it in either of my girls. Honestly, those parents who have more than two kids, and different genders of kids… whoa. You all deserve a medal.

I like to believe you all look like her… which is incredible. Pun intended.

I cannot believe the dynamic that changes when a boy with trucks and laughter coming out of his ears meets with two little girls… it’s like a major movement of the stars. Something goes out of alignment, and I am not kidding you. It was so crazy. And again, they played great and probably didn’t notice the change in atmosphere. But boy, I did, and I was thrown into the zone. Kudos to you parents who do that everyday.. not for me, friends.

I am glad that I have my children that I have. And I would not trade them for the world. And I am even more glad for the daily reminders that God knows what I can handle, and only gives me what does not threaten to kill me. I truly believe a third child would set me over the edge of reason, and I would be certifiably committed to a home for wayward moms. Or something. I don’t know. But it wouldn’t be good. I will stay on this side of the craziness, and I will not add to this world, that is so dark and scary sometimes…

I would be irresponsible to not mention the terribly horrific tragedy that occurred in Colorado two days ago. A gunman entered a theatre and opened fire on a sold-out midnight showing of the latest Batman flick. He killed so many, wounded so many more. And this, my friends, sickens me. What leads a man to do this? Details come out in droves and I am not going to speculate. All I know is this: this world is scary, sad, and tragic. However, I choose to believe in and follow the Light. And I will always try to focus on the good and not the bad; to consider all the bad without the good would crush my soul into a powder to be blown by the wind. I also know that I do not want my girls to know such fear and darkness. I don’t want them to be afraid and paranoid by every person they meet, even though anymore, it feels they should be. I want them to know joy, peace, laughter, and happiness. I want them to know love over hate. Never hate. For any reason. There are some who don’t believe in God. There are some who don’t believe in the Devil. And let me tell you friends, they are both alive and real in my world. I know Satan shows his face sometimes, and I know some people choose to see it. I know that the evil that is done in this world is masterminded by something that we may never fully understand, and that is good because to understand that amount of evil and hate would destroy who we are. I don’t ever want to think that my children could succumb to such evil, and I do all I can to teach them compassion and caring, love and faith, purity and hope. The only way to cast out hate is to shine the Light on it. I know some who don’t believe, and that’s okay. That is their right. We may not agree, and we don’t have to. But know this:

Amen.

May God be with the families suffering in Aurora, CO tonight, and in the weeks, months, and years to come.

We pray for them…

Four.

Published July 10, 2012 by FancyPants

The four it is upon us. Thursday will be Caelan’s fourth birthday, and to be honest, it doesn’t seem real. I’m not going to go on and on about how much she has changed. You all have seen that. Instead, I’m going to write a wish list for what I’d like her to accomplish at Four that she hasn’t quite mastered at Three.

Caelan’s Fourth Year Bucket List, per Mommy

1. Go to the bathroom, by herself, 95% of the time. Also? Wiping her own bottom all the time would be nice.

2. Play with other children consistently without needing to come see me every three minutes. I get it, she wants to know I’m there. She doesn’t quite get it that it is illegal for me to leave her somewhere.

3. Learn to read. (it’s lofty, I know, but she knows SO many sight words, I just want her to throw it all together into reading for real, not word for word on signs, etc.)

4. Enjoy childhood. I know this could be a stretch for my little RainMan, but she is getting better at being a kid. I’d like to see it continue.

5. Stop repeating everything anyone says. I know it won’t happen, but it would be nice.

6. Embrace your inner girlie girl and let me braid that hair on a regular basis.

7. Gain confidence from experiences, not praise.

8. Learn three new somethings everyday.

9. Continue to eat!! It looks good on you!!

10. Thrive. In all things.

I still cannot believe she will be four. Some days (ok, most) she seems so much older than that. And I know that’s because intellectually, she is. She’s so small and spritely, as her name describes.

Caelan \ ca(e)-lan\ as a girl’s name (also used as boy’s name Caelan), is a variant of Cailin (Gaelic) and Caoilainn (Irish), and the meaning of Caelan is “girl; slender and white, fair or pure”.

Her name also means “victorious people” in Ireland, and I suppose that makes sense as well. She is the palest, slenderest, fairest, and most victorious person I know. She has made some incredible leaps in her little life, and she has done it all with the fire and persistence of a soldier. She has done more in her almost four years than most, and has not given up. Even when it looked the worst, she always carried on despite her ailments and physical setbacks. I cannot express my gratitude for her attitude sometimes. Not all the time, mind you, but sometimes. That girl will move mountains. And it’s best just not to get in her way.

I like to say she is my mini-me, and that is true. I feel for her, I really do, when she struggles with social things or with acting her age. I had a hard time growing up with social skills (which I have overcome and know she will, too). I also had a hard time “being a kid.” I didn’t want to be a kid. I didn’t like kids. Neither does Caelan, really. She has overcome a lot of her issues with interaction with kids because we essentially have made her do so. I guess it is so important to me because I see how important interaction with other people is to success and just general well-being as citizens of the world. And I want to stress that to her: no one can do this all alone. But I think she’d be just as happy in her own little world. Which is why I want her to start reading so bad, so we can build her own little world and love for books and literature together. That won’t do much for her social life, but hey, I can’t MAKE her love kids…

It seems surreal that in less than 25 hours I will have a four year old. I am planning on soaking up every minute I can with her on her birthday. This day we celebrate her. We celebrate her life. We celebrate her spirit. And most of all, we celebrate the fact that she is our slender, white, pure and fair, victorious little warrior. And that, my friends, I hope never changes.

Happy Birthday, my little Nert. I love you more than life.

She will dance among the stars, and befriend the moon…

My silly little Nert…

These lips and eyes just kill me. They have been the exact same since she was born…

Could she be any more beautiful??

It’s summer! Pass the Kleenex!!

Published June 20, 2012 by FancyPants

Hey friends. I bet you thought I left. Nope. I’ve been mega busy (who, me?) and haven’t had five seconds to really get around here. It’s not neglect if I had good intentions, right? :)

Anyway, what I’ve been up to has been a mix of bittersweet, LOVE, motivation, and sheer fun! I have cried more this summer so far than any other, and today’s the first official day! It’s been crazy. What has me interested in purchasing stock in Kleenex? A list…

1. Caelan graduated from her old preschool on June 5. And while I don’t want to get all mushy here and start crying again, just know that the whole experience this year has been bittersweet. She walked into that school building a shy, timid child who felt no control over her surroundings. She didn’t want to stay when it first started, and by June she didn’t want to leave. She had the best teacher I could have ever wanted for her, and she has become a close friend for both Caelan and me. I am so happy we decided to place her there, and I am so excited for her journey in Pre-K next year. I love you, Caelan!!

That’s my little graduate!

2. My sister married her wife in the most tear-filled, romantic, fun wedding I have ever been in. It was a marvelous day, even though Caelan had meltdowns due to being tired and hot. All of their friends and family were there to witness their love. I cried almost the whole time, off and on. I am so proud of her for standing up with her wife, and professing her forever love. And though Ohio doesn’t recognize it as legal (why not!? UGH!), I will stand proudly with them both when it becomes legal and support them, as I do now. Caelan was the flower girl (too cute). I was a bridesmaid (equally cute, as you will see in a minute). It was just a splendid day to celebrate love and all of its glory and splendor. I feel myself tearing up again, so I am going to stop here…

Cutest moment ever!!

The moment that made the entire place break down in sobs.. my sister and my dad….

The ridiculously happy couple…

The cutest couple ever!!

She’s not a diva, no really she’s not … lol

3. My sister in law finally had their baby girl, Zoe Elena! She’s perfect and wonderful. And I know I am totally done having kids because when I hold her, my uterus is juuuuust fine… :)

In other news, my summer class is going well. I love teaching and am at my best in the classroom most days.

I can’t believe it is almost July!! What has your summer looked like, kind reader? What’s still on tap for you?

Don’t tell me if you’re going somewhere exotic or international… unless you share pics so I can live vicariously through you…

*ALL IMAGES ARE MY PROPERTY! Using them without my permission will result in legal action taken against you. Play nice, friends.*

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 317 other followers